Live play post

I've found a place to play live poker again. I don't like it as much as the other places I've played in the past year which either had very large player bases or at least really cool management. This place features a small player base and the management, while not being awful or unfriendly, is not up to the other places.

But small is probably good right now, and they are able to spread games.

Oh, another thing.

The players are fucking CRAZY.

Cards got paid. Last week, I would have too except for 1 awful hand where I learned the lesson that the only thing worse than semi-bluffing a paired board with a straight draw and whiffing is semi-bluffing a paired board with a straight draw and hitting the nut straight. For the record, the nut straight loses to quads, beetches.

And it pays them off. 400 intial buy-in toast.

My redeeming hand came against a very aggressive but normally (not that night) solid player with a severe personality disorder: he's an asshole. Also, I think he might have been on something.

Rewind to early in the night, first hand. We start 5 handed as the game gets going. He limps on button, SB makes it 10, and I, with AKo make it 40 to go. Then this guy starts thinking. Forever like. After 90 seconds, the SB gets annoyed and says "fold already dude". The guy scowls and keeps thinking. The SB calls a clock.

Asshole says, Joe Pesci style, "You called a clock on me? Floor! How long till someone can call a clock on another player?"

Floor, unhelpfully, "after a reasonable period of time."

Asshole, "was that a reasonable period of time?"

Floor, to dealer "was it a reasonable period of time?"

Dealer -whimper-.

SB "he's taking forever, is the clock started?"

Me -silence- (hard to believe I know but I'm in a hand having made a bet).

Floor, "ok, 30 seconds."

30 seconds elapses as asshole stares at the SB. It is painfully obvious that asshole has no intention of calling but will teach the SB a lesson.

Fold, fold, I win pot #1.

Asshole, "I'm taking the maximum amount of time for every hand just because you called a clock on me."

Next hand, on cuttoff, asshole proceeds to wait. For 30 seconds.

Me, "ah c'mon, don't take it out on the rest of us."

SB, "you're an asshole. I'm going down the street."

Me, "if he goes, I'm going too. I don’t need this shit and I'm not about to play 4 handed" (with an asshole).

FINALLY, floor steps in and calls this player off the table for a chat. This floor knows me and knows it's my first time at this club. She also knows I am probably a good fixture if I like it. If I walk, I'm going to find another place. So asshole does a timeout in the back with the floor for five minutes while the dealer talks the SB into staying.

Fast forward, two hours later by now long a full game, after my misguided semi-bluff (paying off the SB above, incidentally). I have rebought 500 and am down to 375 or so. With very aggressive play, asshole has also lost a buy-in but and has rebuilt to back nearly even. I get 5 count e'm 5 limpers to my button, including asshole UTG, and look down and see AQ spades. This is one of those decision points, is this a betting situation or a see a flop situation. See a flop is the path I take.

Ks Js 8h. First off, AQ seems to attract King high flops like a magnet. Second off, I HAVE A ROYAL STRAIGHT FLUSH DRAW.

Asshole opens 20 into this 16 pot and there is one caller to me. I make the decision that a) I don't have the best hand, and b) I'm not going to be able to take it here. I call and we're 3 way.

Turn comes a low blank. Asshole has a strange look and counts out 60. MP folds to me and I go in the tank. I'm being offered 60 to win 76. Obviously, my spade and straight outs are good, since they're all to the nuts. 12 outs however with 1 card to come is still a 3:1 dog. Is my ace good? Probably I tell myself. That's 15 outs, 2:1, still off, but he'll pay me something if I hit right?

I was a convincing advocate. As the player to my immediate left said after the hand, a nice enough guy, said to me afterward, "just the chance to hit a royal had to be worth a couple of extra outs."

Call. River is a beautiful, though not most beautiful, seven of spades. I got da NUTZ baby. Asshole checks.

Can I get any money? Maybe if I look like I'm trying to steal? I toss out 4 green chips.

Please call please call please call.

Asshole pauses. Leans forward. Puts his hands behind his chips.

OH MY GOD IS HE GOING TO GIVE ME THEM??

Yes.

You see, he hit his flush too. 9 high--he had had me beat with the pair. What a lovely, stupid ass move. I mean if I'm him I definitely have to call there. But what on earth can I call with that he wants to see? King 7?

I chose not to slow roll but instead immediately said "I call I have the nuts".

If I knew he was going to pay me off like that if I hit, I would have called him a lot quicker. Talk about implied odds!

Felt good, didn't get me unstuck, but turned an awful session into a poor session.

Last night I was back but the first spread game was 2-5 300-800 rather than the 1-2 100-500 I normally prefer. 2-5 in a NY club plays very big compared to a casino card room and this one was no exception. I avoided major blunders except for paying off moderately AK on an ace high flop with JJ when he checked the flop and and turn. Same guy also chipped me down, reraising a 20 bet with AJ to 75 and folding to a re-reraise to 175. The man kindly showed me his aces. The deck exploded on him as he kept showing AA twice, KK, JJ, AK and flopped straights twice, going from 500 to 1500 in the first hour. Horseshoe-up-his-ass gave most of it back on an ill-advised three pot where he preflop bet with AT hearts, flopped two hearts, raised, was reraised to 100 by stock asian sunglasses ipod maniac with 500 behind, smooth called by a new player (wearing Armani suit) in the blind with 800 behind. Horseshoe then made it 400 to go (he had been grumbling at the maniac and was clearly targetting him). Maniac called with two lower hearts, but new guy had flopped a straight and it held up.

Noteable hand that guaranteed the session was in the small black for me:

With Q4d I open-limped in MP with just under 400 (I know, I know). Four callers including the blinds. Flop is Qx 7d 2d. Bingo. I open 25 (I'm going to war with this hand every time). Cutoff, an off-duty dealer with 250 or so behind with a penchant for losing all of the money he earns on shift at the end of the shift, makes it 100 to go. Folds to me and I push. He insta-calls with JD TD, drawing almost dead. Slight scare with an non-diamond ace on the turn giving him actual outs, but the river harmlessly pairs my 4 and he's done for the night.

"I loved that flop," he said. "I had to play that hand."

"I understand", I said, not understanding at all. You semi-bluff reraised with the third nut flush draw, pot committing yourself in the process.

Granted, he was facing the worst possible scenario which he couldn't have predicted, but he would have been a significant dog to a naked queen.

It was a volatile session, and when 10 o'clock rolled around, I was up $12, tired and didn't feel like paying time or riding the roller coaster any longer, so I racked up and booked my massive profit.

On to Kid Dynamite's home game today--should be fun and I'm bringing along the Korean ATM. I think KD sent out the bulletin to his regulars that a fish fry is on...